Unstable

What if I am feeling for lack of trust to anybody?

What should I do if I am about to lose my confidence?

I hardly find the answer.

For the First Time by The Script

She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart
While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar
And we don't know how we got into this mad situation
Only doing things out of frustration

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard
She needs me now but I can't seem to find a time
I've got a new job now in the unemployment line
And we don't know we got into this mess it's a God's test
Someone help us cause we're doing our best

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard
But we're gonna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine
Sit talking up all night
Saying things we haven't for a while, a while yeah
We're smiling but we're close to tears
Even after all these years
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting
For the first time

She's in line at the door with her head held high
While I just lost my job but didn't lose my flight
But we both know how we're gonna make it work when it hurts
When you pick yourself up you get kicked in the dirt

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard
But we're gonna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine
Sit talking up all night
Doing things we haven't for a while, a while yeah
We're smiling but we're close to tears
Even after all these years
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting
For the first time

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard
But we're gonna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine
Sit talking up all night
Doing things we haven't for a while, a while yeah
We're smiling but we're close to tears
Even after all these years
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting
For the first time
For the first time
Oh, for the first time
Yeah, for the first time

Oh these times are hard
Yeah they're making us crazy
Don't give up on me baby
Oh these times are hard
Yeah they're making us crazy
Don't give up on me baby

Oh these times are hard
Yeah they're making us crazy
Don't give up on me baby


Oh these times are hard
Yeah they're making us crazy
Don't give up on me baby

Unintentionally Desire

pics from gettyimages

It was as seducing as pheromone to a male bug;
or as tempting as smokey fresh baked forbidden-fruit pie.
It happened to me just habitually.
I didn't even know if it's something real or my sexual appetite was talking.

Your silly laugh on me when I pouted because my vanilla ice cream was melting too quick;
when my own handmade cookies made you skip dinner and asking everybody who had more;
and how you lightly knock my head to say: " Be careful, Young Lady"

I like myself for being unnoticed by others, because I knew you in different would act contrarily.
I wish it's just a lie, I wish it's just a dream.
Sadly, this beautiful unintentionally desire won't be able to go further because our God has created different path for us.

Let's wish for another moment, let's wish for another life.
I will see you in some other time.

Unusual Day

I rate today as one of my unusual day. Instead, I prefer to call it, interesting day.

At least, today gives my hope and spirit back after all things happened recently.
Well, those were unpleasant things at most, which made me gloomy and pretty upset.

I started today by waking up at 5 AM in the morning (yeah, that early) with puffy eyes still on its place. I need to wake up that early because I am going to do an interview at Wisma Kogoro for MRA. (this is quite shocking because I just send the application two days ago, and being called yesterday. good sign, eh? I hope :D ).
Since the interview area is near by both my brother and sister's school (also my former school: Santa Theresia), so I decided to go with them together. Dropping their off, then find a place to wait until 9 AM, the interview time.

It was 6.30 in the morning and I chose 7/11 Menteng to waste my time for the next couple hours. I bought my breakfast, very delightful ones: tuna-cheese sandwich and medium size of caramel cappuccino (you can make your own style by pouring any kind of syrup you want). I hung out alone with cars and motorcycles keep moving in front of my eyes. It was nice :)
It's not just stopped there. I kinda felt bored after finishing my breakfast + 1 cig.
Then, I decided to cross the road to go to Taman Menteng.
Yeah, I often pass it by but never really explore that so-called-garden.

I brought my caramel cappuccino, made a conversation with police officer that I thought wanna charge me for came across the road mistakenly. I was thinking in that way because there was no zebra crossing over there. It turned out to be that he was reminding and help me to cross the road. Thank you sir! :)

Police officer: " Mau kemana, Mba? Naik taksi dari seberang?"
Me: " Nggak, saya mau jalan-jalan aja di Taman Menteng, hehehee"
Police officer: " Hati-hati ya, Mba, mari saya bantu. Kopinya jangan diminum sambil nyebrang, ntar ketabrak"
Me: " hahaha, iya pak (-_-'') "

Thus, I spent approximately my 45 minutes over there. Watching students of SDN Menteng 01 do their physical education subject, running circling the field. I also watched people playing basketball. Moreover, I met a vagrant, reading some Islamic book. There was also a grandma with her servant having their morning walk, a gardener, an expat that I assume a Korean, and not to be forget a runner mama. They show me how interesting diversity is.

(text message came in)
My brother asked me to drop off his soccer ball, so I ended my sight-seeing at Taman Menteng.
It was 8 AM, darn it, still an hour left. So I drove my car, super slow, which that isn't my character to drive like that, but come on, I need to wasteeeeee time.
After that, I head my self to Wisma Kosgoro and find a parking place.
Found one, listened to the radio, and get my self relaxed.

8.45 AM. I got out from my car, went downstairs for four level, and went upstairs using the elevator to sixth floor. Filling the application (blah, there was a lot to fill in, so lazyyy). I went upstairs to ninth floor and waited for about one and half hour for approximately 10 minutes of interview only. I don't know, should I feel confidence or experience-less. I just enjoyed it and waited for another hour before I went out that building.
But, something unexpectedly was occurred during my process of waiting. I met my campus friend Kalista Cendani.
She was also applying for being an intern. She told me that my three others friends were also being interviewed yesterday. Wow! What a small world :p

Time was pointed at 1 PM and both my brother and sister will finish their study at 3 PM.
So I was thinking to find a place for "wasting my money" while waiting for them huhuhuhu...
As a result, I chose HongKong Cafe because I always want to try it since long time ago.
So, here I am, accompanied by HK milk tea with jelly and also a plate of something seafood HK rice (recommended). Take a look at the picture down there and lemme have my lunch, okay?
Bon appetite!

*I am pretty happy because the interviewer was telling me that he looks forward to see me on June and will be in touch later. Hope it means I will get my internship there :) Wish me luck!*

HongKong Cafe, Menteng

The Love Stories

I love quotes from TheLoveStories from my twitter account. Here are some of them which I like the most (who apparently I can make a line of my love story):

To you whom I like for the past two years:

"Maybe one day you'll understand that the reason why "I love you" is a reason enough."

After two years and I think you don't feel the same like I feel:

"Who says time heals?! You don't get OVER the pain,
you just learn to get ALONG with the pain, in time!"

Now, I am trying to get over you and find another man:

"The truth is now that you've gone, I'm finally moving on and it feels great without you holding me down."

After some trials, nahh, I will leave you with the question, but remember:

"Love knows no past tense. You either never loved or never stopped."

Share your stories to me, I will glad to hear. Take it fun :)

Hell-O Reality

If I live in a dream world, will I survive in reality?
Because I never know how pain would feel,
or what real tear drops are..
They were all telling me that I should stay in my world, because reality is full of problems.
But, hello, what is problem?
I never heard that before.
My world is full of spirit and laugh.
My dream world is always giving me what I want and what I need.
Oh, I think I am going to arrange a journey to reality world.
Sounds good, eh?
I'll tell you when I have arrived.
Adieu, wish me good luck! :)